“WHAT WE DO TO YOUR COPY (AND WHY IT THANKS US AFTER)”
Let’s be honest. Corporate writing is dead.
And beige websites deserve to die with it.
I’m MARCEL ROMDANE — former bush pilot, elephant wrangler, dark humour memoirist, and your new worst nightmare if your copy still sounds like the elevator playlist of a Soviet bunker.
What I bring isn’t “editing.”
It’s a verbal wrecking ball.
I weaponize language.
I break bland brand voices and rebuild them with gasoline and sarcasm.
If your marketing copy reads like a therapy session for desk plants, I’m here to pull the plug.
COPYWRITING SO SHARP IT SHOULD COME WITH A DISCLAIMER.
Lucky for you — it does.
✅ Web Copy That Bleeds Truth
Words that punch, slap, and occasionally seduce. No fluff. No filters. Just raw clarity and bite.
✅ English Rescue for German Sites
If your English reads like a cry for help, I’ll fix it. Especially if you’re exporting cars, knives, or semi-legal gear to America.
✅ Product Descriptions with a Body Count
Because your backpack isn't "versatile" — it survives war zones, bad dates, and tax audits.
✅ Ghostwritten Bios So Good You'll Believe Them Yourself
Your fake story. My real pen. Everyone wins.
✅ Dark Humour Copy for Brands That Don’t Apologize
Warning: may get you banned from HR. And invited to better parties.
🔥THE SERVICES. OR AS WE CALL THEM: SANCTIONED VERBAL VIOLENCE.
Because “offerings” sounds like something a vegan bakery would say.
🧠 SEO Copywriting
The Boring Way: “We’ll research your business keywords thoroughly…”
The Romdane Way:
We don’t research keywords. We stalk them through the jungle and drag them back, bloodied and screaming. SEO that leaves a mark.
🕸️ Website Copy
The Boring Way: “An all-singing, all-dancing website…”
The Romdane Way:
We build sites that slap your customer in the face, scream value, and convert like cult recruiters on cocaine.
✍️ Blog Copy
The Boring Way: “Turns technical hieroglyphs into something more appetising…”
The Romdane Way:
You want blogs? We write them so sharp, they bleed. No fluff. Just content that stabs through algorithms and drags readers in.
🔎 Keyword Research
The Boring Way: “Learn what your customers are looking for…”
The Romdane Way:
We don’t track trends. We hijack them. Then ram them straight into your funnel at 160 km/h.
🎯 Content Planning
The Boring Way: “A clear ongoing structure for your ideas…”
The Romdane Way:
We take your brain spaghetti and turn it into a tactical missile strike. Precision. Punch. Purpose.
💣 Creative Copywriting
The Boring Way: “We aim to avoid generic, dull copy…”
The Romdane Way:
We don’t avoid dull copy. We carpet-bomb it. Then build something unforgettable on the wreckage.
🧨 Still reading?
You either love it...
Or you really need it.