“Abandon Hope, All Who Click Here”

—Campfire Syndicate Official Welcome

 

🔥 CAMPFIRE SYNDICATE

All You Need Is Less
(And probably a tetanus shot)

 

Welcome, fellow misfit.

If you’ve clicked here, odds are you’ve had one too many existential meltdowns, stared into the abyss of a meaningless 9-to-5, and thought:
“Maybe I am the problem. Or maybe everyone else just sucks.”

Either way—you’ve come to the right fire. 🔥

 

This is Campfire Syndicate.
A place for the burned-out, the black sheep, the battle-scarred, and the too-aware-to-function.
We’re bush pilots turned storytellers, cowboy philosophers, reluctant prophets, and the kind of people who ruin every dinner party by casually mentioning the truth.

We don’t do hustle culture.
We don’t “find ourselves” in Bali.
We don’t think “living on the edge” means ordering gas station sushi.
And we sure as hell don’t believe enlightenment comes wrapped in yoga pants and a €12 kale smoothie.

Unless it’s on fire. Then we might consider it.

🔥 What We Actually Do

  • Tell stories so real and unhinged they make fiction cry
  • Record podcasts with the charm of a jet engine and the grace of a bar fight
  • Sell merch for the ungovernable, the untameable, and the unfiltered
  • Convert trauma into punchlines, and chaos into cult classics

💣 Who’s Behind This Trash Fire?

Me, Marcel.
Ex-bush pilot.
Elephant wrangler.
Charity burnout survivor.
Walking midlife crisis with a passport, a machete, and aviator sunglasses.

I’ve failed in more countries than most people have visited.
Now I turn disaster into art, crash landings into content, and madness into merchandise.

Also behind the scenes: Nicole—unsung hero, chaos manager, reluctant stuntwoman, and the one duct-taping the wings back on when this thing inevitably catches fire.
She’s the only reason we haven’t burned everything down (yet).

 

✊ JOIN THE SYNDICATE

We’re not just building a brand.
We’re building a resistance.
A coalition of the slightly unhinged and the terminally unimpressed.

You might belong here if you:

  • Remember what freedom tastes like
  • Know “taxes” is just a polite word for theft
  • Have more scars than followers
  • Smell jet fuel and call it home
  • Want to burn illusions and fund something that actually matters

Then subscribe. stalk. donate.
Or send snacks and fire extinguishers.

Coming soon:
🔥 [Gumroad] — For those who pay to play
🔥 [Ko-Fi] — For those who toss coins at our dumpster fire

 

📖 What You Can Read

Our flagship memoir: forged in hell, dipped in sarcasm, and wrapped in duct tape.
Also our first book—so far. The second will be far worse and is already in the making.

“What Could Possibly Go Wrong?”
A true story of charity, chaos, and catastrophic optimism.
If Kafka had a plane crash in Kenya, it’d be this book.

Pre-launch editions available now—yes, signed in actual ink.
Maybe blood. Hard to tell.

 

🎧 What You Can Hear

The Podcast of Doom
Campfire tales—mostly in German, occasionally in English, always in existential mayhem.
If you’ve ever wanted to hear what it sounds like when a man screams into the void...
but in an accent resembling a chain-smoking cow?
You’re welcome.

 

💀 Philosophy, If You Can Call It That

All you need is less.
Less noise.
Less bullshit.
Less pretending.

Unless we’re talking duct tape, jet fuel, optimism, or backup plans for when God loses interest or the guardian angel doesn’t come back from his cigarette break.

 

🔥 Coming Soon

  • Membership tiers: Your backstage pass to disaster
  • Merch: “This Is Why I Drink” mugs & aviation-themed lingerie (yes, really)
  • T-Shirts: “God is in the Rain” — and He’s not happy
  • Live storytelling sessions, misadventures, and maybe a goat named Destiny

 

🌐 romdanetraveltales.com | Subpage of Doom
🏕️ Campfire Syndicate LLC | Wyoming, Earth (for now)
📡 Contact us before we disappear into the savannah or get extradited. Again.