Wyoming Saga, Part 1 / How we met Mr. Santa and Mrs. Claus

Disclaimer: This short story was originally intended to serve as the introduction to my first book, aptly titled "What Could Possibly Go Wrong?" Chronicles of Chaos and Courage. However, thanks to my chronic inability to resist babbling on endlessly—pausing only for catastrophes of biblical proportions (perhaps a meteor the size of Nebraska would do the trick)—this little intro ballooned far beyond its intended scope.

The inevitable result? A mind far more disciplined than mine—my wife’s, naturally—has seized control of the task. This, of course, leaves me free to focus on what I do best: rambling unabated in this story.

What could possibly compel me to write this book—and, more importantly, why on earth would you bother to read it? Let’s face it: the literary world is stuffed to the brim with books that proclaim themselves “riveting” while in actuality bearing the charm of an elevator music playlist. Then, of course, there are those so mind-numbingly dull that midway through page one, you’ll wish you’d made the thrilling choice to arrange your sock drawer in alphabetical order instead.

So why did I decide to celebrate my collection of absurd, chaotic, and occasionally insane misadventures on paper—something I’ve meant to do for years but was too busy creating new ones to get around to? To explain, we’ll have to rewind to that glorious time of uncertainty and existential crises: 2022/2023.

In a nutshell, as is often the case with me, it all began with a meticulously crafted plan.  To acquire a decrepit old Range Rover Classic, resurrect it from junkyard purgatory into a well-oiled, smoothly running domicile on wheels, and embark on a grand voyage to America with my ever-patient and equally adventurous companion—my wife.

A crucial piece of this master plan involved carving out a lucrative niche selling antique Volkswagen minibuses, imported—via Germany—from the industrious and ever-diligent country of Brazil.

From there, we would entrust our fate to a reliable friend in Germany, confident he’d hold up his end of the bargain: pay his share and ship the cars over. After all, what could possibly go wrong when you mix friendship with business, drizzle in a little international logistics, and serve it all with a generous spoonful of intercontinental bureaucracy?

The pesky business of dealing with visas and work permits I decided to shelve for later—preferably after the first million dollars rolled in. By then, most bureaucratic hurdles could be elegantly smoothed over by employing a time-tested strategy I like to call “the African way.”

As I said:

What could possibly go wrong?

It was foolproof.

Or so I thought.

An opening excerpt from What Could Possibly Go Wrong? Chronicles of Chaos and Courage remains available here. The full book can be ordered here.